An Unexpected Turn of Events
by Kippies
Summary: Falling-in-to-Middle-Earth story with a twist. What happens if Mary Sue misses her portal to Tolkiens world? What if someone else goes instead? Rated T for future chapters just to be safe .
1. Prologue

**An unexpected turn of events**

**Prologue**

Disclaimer: Lord of the Rings does not belong to me. Mary Sue does but if you want her you can have her. Edgar and the other people at the retirement home belongs to me and a friend of mine.

A/N: After reading more Mary Sue stories than I really needed I decided to write my own falling-in-to-Middle-Earth story, with a twist.

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"Where is my coffee girl?" the old, grey-haired man asked grumpily. Mary Sue sighed and brushed her long silk-smooth blond hair out of her face.

"I'll get to you soon Edgar, but there are other people here as well. I can't just abandon them and concentrate on you"

Edgar was 75 years old, almost completely bald and skinny as a stick figure. He walked with a rollator and constantly complained about his hemorrhoids.

"I don't see why." he whined "They're just a pack old, senile waste of space."

"What?" an old woman cupped her hand around her ear in an attempt to hear what was said.

"**I said you were a senile waste of space Mildred!**" Edgar shouted in her ear.

"Oh. Who are you again?"

"See?" Edgar once again turned to Mary "Now give me my coffee." The beautiful 16 year old girl closed her silvery blue eyes for a second then poured him a cup of coffee.

"Not that hard was it? Youth these days. You are all spoiled rotten, you know that?"

"Yes Edgar."she agreed. It wasn't true though, Mary's adoptive parents didn't care about her. If they did they wouldn't force her to help out at the house after she got home from school, or from her job at the retirement home at the weekends.

The fact that they worked as hard, if not harder, than her to be able to afford the house and food for Mary and her three brothers and was tired when they got home as well was not an excuse. Nor was that the fair system of taking turns to do the different chores.

But it wasn't fair. How could it be when Mary had to do as much as everyone else? She used to dream about her real parents. That they would come and take her away from this place. Away from the school where she was teased for her pointy ears and because she was adopted. Away from a family who didn't understand her.

But she knew that would never happen so she fled the harsh reality into her favorite movies; the Lord of the Rings. She had spend hours watching her DVD's (that her adoptive parent had bought for her) and wishing she was in Middle Earth and could go on adventures with her favorite character; Legolas.

But there was no use reavealing her misery to Edgar. He would never understand the pain she went through. So when he called her a spoiled brat she just smiled and agreed, even though she was crying on the inside.

"**Help I'm stuck!**" a voice called from the living room across the hall. Mary sighed and left the kitchen to tell the old lady that she had to be strapped to her wheel chair or she would fall out and hurt herself.

As she left, the spot in the floor where she had been standing seemed to turn liquid and a strange light emerged from the edges. Edgar leaned forward to see better when he felt himself being sucked in. He grabbed his rollator to keep himself from being sucked through the floor but it wasn't heavy enough to stop his fall.

When Mary came back into the kitchen both Edgar and his rollator was gone.

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A/N: So what do you think? Do you want to hear about poor Edgars adventures in Middle Earth? Constructive critisism is always appriciated. The following chapters will be longer than this, I just wanted to know if anyone would read it.


	2. Edgar the mighty warrior

**An unexpected turn of events**

**Edgar the mighty warrior **

Disclaimer: LotR is not mine, but any characters you don't recognize from the books/movies are and if you ask nicely maybe I'll let you borrow them :P

A/N: Thanks for the reviews, they warmed my heart :D

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When Edgar woke up the first thing he saw was mud. In fact that was all he saw, and he saw it close. He dislodged his face from the wet ground and attempted to wipe his face clean. Of course this just smeared the mud out more evenly over his face.

He found his rollator right next to him and used it to pull him self up to a standing position. As he looked around, searching for some landmark he recognized, he noticed the bodies. Not human, he could see that much. They were deformed and didn't look like anything he had seen before. He picked up a stick from the ground and prodded one of the bodies. It was definitely dead.

They were orcs, placed there by the same Sueish power that had opened the portal. Fortunately for our poor protagonist the sonic boom from the portal had killed them in the same instant the wrong person fell through it.

Edgar had never seen the Lord of the Ring movies nor had he read the books so he didn't know what to make of the vaguely humanoid creatures slumped on the ground around him. He was just about to call for help when he heard voices behind him.

"Turn around." Thanks to the Suepower that was now ruling this universe Edgar could understand every word that the two elves pointing their bows at him were saying.

His fear and confusion turned in to anger and annoyance and he shook his fist at the two seemingly young men.

"You think you were pretty funny now didn't you? Drug an old man's coffee and drag him out to the middle of the forest. That bitch at the retirement home is probably in on this as well. Come to think about it, you look a bit like her, but you kids all look the same to me anyway..."

"Did you kill these orcs?" one of the elves interrupted, finally noticing the bodies.

"What happened to them is nothing compared to what I'm gonna do to you when I catch you." Edgar tried to push the rollator over the soft ground towards the elves. This of course didn't work very well and he had to stop to catch his breath.

The first elf got a far away look in his eyes and he said in a monotone voice:

"We should take him to lord Elrond. This could be the prophecy coming true"

"What prophecy?" the second elf asked, not yet enslaved under the Suepower.

"It is said that a warrior will come to Middle Earth in a time of great danger and fight on the side of good and help defeat evil."

The other elf, who of course never had heard this in his entire life, got the same far away look in his eyes:

"Well, now that you say it it does sound quite familiar."

Edgar just stared suspiciously at the two but when they offered to take him to the last homely house to eat and rest he felt it best to agree. He wasn't an outdoor person and found the presence of too much nature very disturbing indeed. And so they started walking towards Rivendell.

*

Back at the retirement home police was called in to look for Edgar. No-one had seen him leave the building and the only one who had been with Edgar at the time of his disappearance was Mildred, but when asked about it she just said:

"What?" so they shouted the question in her ear and she said: "Who's Edgar?"

She wasn't of much help to anyone.

At last it came out that the last person to have seen Edgar (and remember it) was Mary Sue, and since it was well known at the home that they didn't like each other very much she was brought down to the station for questioning.

*

Edgar stood in front of lord Elrond in one of the roomy halls in Rivendell.

"So you are the great warrior that the prophecy speaks of. For some reason I thought you would be a bit younger. And perhaps more feminine." The last part was just a mumble and could not be heard on account of Edgar's angry reply:

"You young hippies and your ageism. I fought in the Vietnam war, got a ton of medals, if I'm not a great warrior than no-one is!"

"I have not heard about this Vi-het-naam war you speak of." Elrond looked confused.

"Well it was probably before your time." Edgar did not know about elves. They appeared young to him so he just assumed they were and the elves, minds dulled by the Suepower, therefore thought he was an ancient warrior from before their time.

"I cannot help to think it would be wise to have a skilled warrior as yourself at my council about the ring." Elrond said at last.

"Well I'm not much for jewellery but since you asked so nicely. Is there something to eat in this hippie place? I'm starving."

"I'll have someone escort you to your room and food will be brought to you."

"Great, and my hemorrhoids are killing me, do you have something for that?"

"Hemo...What is that?" Elrond asked. Hemorrhoids weren't very common among elves.

Edgar told him, in great detail, he liked this subject. The elf went pale but managed to whisper:

"I'll see what I can do."

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"I told you I don't know where he is!" Mary was on the verge of tears. "I just left the kitchen for a second and he was gone."

"Now miss," a friendly-looking policeman with a huge moustache said calmly. "We are not accusing you of anything. We just want to know exactly what happened prior to his disappearance."

"I already told you, I went across the hall from the kitchen to help Edna and when I got back to the kitchen Mildred was sitting alone and talking to herself. I looked in the hall and Edgar's room but he wasn't there so I told Sara, my colleague, and we searched the whole building but we still couldn't find him. That is when we called you guys."

"Hmm" the police officer, who was in fact called Manfred, absent-mindedly twirled his moustache around his fingers. How could an old man who needed a rollator to walk disappear in just a matter of minutes? This was a mystery indeed.

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A/N 2: Next chapter: The council. I'm sorry for the short chapters but i'll make it up to you by updating soon.


	3. Apology for the delay

**Apology**

Sorry for the delay but I've been having gastroenteritis so I've spent a lot of time studying the inside of the toilet bowl..

Also I want to go to the library to borrow an english copy of the Lord of the Rings so i get the facts right.


	4. Kids nowadays and their ”bling”

**An unexpected turn of events**

**Kids nowadays and their "bling"**

Disclaimer: LotR is not mine, but any characters you don't recognize from the books/movies are and if you ask nicely maybe I'll let you borrow them :P Mary Sue you can have, I don't want her anyway.

A/N: Sorry for not updating in a while, I know I promised this would be updated often but I've had a lot to do in school and such. But I'm taking some time off from that now, mainly because Edgar kept waking me up at three in the morning by putting ice cubes on my feet, calling me in class and telling me about his hemorrhoids and sitting behind me on the bus, passing out embarrassing photos of me to the other passengers until I continued with this.

I want to dedicate this chappie to my mother who works at a home for Alzheimer patients.

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Mildred sat out on the porch in the cool night and looked at the clear night sky. She had gotten up at 2 am, unable to sleep. Usually she had no trouble sleeping, but tonight there was something bothering her. She felt empty somehow, like she had lost something. She tried to clear the fog from her mind to find the reason why she felt so alone, but no matter how hard she tried it stayed just beyond her reach. Something, someone maybe, was missing and she didn't like it. If she could only remember.

Under a completely different night sky, in a soft bed in a beautiful house, Edgar was snoring happily, dreaming of sheep. [1]

*

Edgar wasn't really paying attention at the council the next day. He hadn't enjoyed breakfast, not at all. The food had been good but the elves didn't have any coffee, they didn't even seem to know what coffee was, and there was something else too. A sort of empty feeling in his stomach, even though he had eaten quite a lot.

He was awaken from his thoughts by someone saying his name.

"Huh?"

"I said perhaps the Company could use another warrior in the quest to destroy the ring" Elrond seemed to be struggling with himself.

Edgar looked at the small group standing in the middle of the circle, looking expectantly at him.

"All these people to return one little piece of jewelery, and you want me to babysit? Well, since I am such a selfless person, and a great warrior, I'll come with you, making sure you don't hurt yourself."

*

When everyone else had left, Elrond stood alone in the middle of the stone circle, twitching nervously.

"Ten, it makes perfect sense. Ten walkers, of course, it's logical. There have to be ten, doesn't it? Yes, yes it does because ten is..."

After a while two elves came out, took him gently by the arms and led him inside to rest.

*

They set out at dusk the day after, Edgar pushing his rollator on the suspiciously flat ground. They walked in silence, even Edgar, who was not used to walking and was now wheezing with the effort.

When the first light of day painted the sky red Aragorn announced that they were now in the land of Hollin. He sat down on a convenient rock and mumbled to himself.

"I must be getting old, I thought I remembered it to take a lot longer to walk from Rivendell to Hollin, and didn't it used to be a lot more insects? Where are all the insects?"

Legolas was confused as well, not so much because of the unusually short way to Hollin as the fact that he felt like he ought to fall in love with Edgar. This scared him, as did the distant female voice in his head that kept chanting words in a strange language.

"Oh my leggy-weggy, u r so totally hot!!1!!!one! we wuld be like, the purfect couple like, totally ment 2 be like, 2gether. and it would be liek, romantic and stuff and like, awessum."

He figured it must have something to do with the ring.

In fact the only one in the fellowship that wasn't affected by the Suepower was Gimli. He actually kind of liked Edgar though. Mostly because he had called Legolas a sissy and told him to get a haircut. And because he remarked that Gimli was the only one of them that looked like a warrior.

Edgar sat on a rock watching Boromir teach two of the hobbits, as he had been told they were called, to handle their small swords when another of the hobbits, 'Sam' Edgar thought his name was, suddenly stood up.

"What is that?"

"Nothing, it's just a wisp of cloud." the dwarf replied.

By now Boromir had stopped play fighting with the two hobbits and came to stand beside Sam.

"It's moving fast... And against the wind."

Legolas ran over to them as well and looked towards the horizon.

"Crebain from Dunland!" he yelled.

"Hide!" Aragorn was already throwing himself down under some bushes.

"The what from the where now?" Edgar asked grumpily, he was tired and was _not_ going to move from his comfy rock, but before he knew it Legolas had grabbed him and pulled him down in the bushes.

Edgar was just about to yell a list of obscenities at the elf when the sky darkened. Thousands of crows came flying over them, their black figures blocking the sun.

After the birds had flown past the company climbed out from under the bushes. Gandalf was the first to speak.

"Spies of Saruman! The passage South is being watched. We must take the Pass of Caradhras."

They all turned to look at the snow-covered mountain.

"What? Up there? First hippie boy here tries to have an intimate moment with me in the bushes and now you gonna drag me over a mountain? All over a little cheap piece of tin foil . You kids take your 'bling' to seriously."

Legolas, looking extremely unhappy and slightly nauseous, sat down in the grass and leaned his forehead against his knees.

Gandalf spoke up again.

"We have no other choice."

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[1] Nothing dirty, just sheep in general, and not carnivorous sheep that chases you while you keep running and falling from laughing so hard at being chased by were-sheep either.


End file.
